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CRAZY like a FOX

[ website | JeNNie'S weBpaGe ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[02 May 2007|10:17pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Soo the last time I wrote in LJ I had just finally broke up with a guy that I knew was wrong for me from the start but I tried to make it work. Well since then I have gone through a lot of heartache over a guy that I really didn't have that special something with. I know that we spent so much time with each other and we probably had a connection but deep down we both knew there wasn't that thing to get us through any sort of hard time.

After getting over the break up I partied a lot to try and drown my sorrows. I probably partied a little too much sometimes. I found my way though I found my way out of that hole. I knew that being completely wasted and incoherent isn't the way that I live my life. I decided to turn my life around. I started bettering myself in going to the gym and doing things for myself rather than another person that didn't appreciate any of it. I finally started to think of myself first. I was really getting back to old Jennie. The girl that could handle anything not the girl that cried every other day.

So one day Jill finally gets me to go to the beach. We get there and start drinking and Ashley grabs me and says he lets go smoke in this guy's car. So we go and I end up sitting in the front seat with him somehow. We start talking and I'm like damn this guy is pretty cool. I don't want to be the girl that steals the guy so I say goodbye and I don't think anything of it.

Later Jill and I decide we have to leave and pack up our crap and start to walk out. Who do I run into but the hottie I was smoking with. I was like damn you know what I'm going to talk to him. He starts fumbling around finally I'm like do you want my number? He was like yeah I do :)

He calls me later that week and well we haven't stopped hanging out since. He is such a great guy. He's smart, funny, good looking, and driven. Some pretty great qualities for a guy. Everything was just going so perfect. I was like wow how could there not be anything wrong with this guy. And well it turns out there isn't anything wrong with him but there is a problem. He's leaving me. He going to be on the other side of the country in a couple weeks and I don't know what to do. He says it is only temporary but who knows how he is going to feel when he gets out there. He is being offered a lot of money to go out there and well why would he want to come back to Orlando when he is living in LA. For me? Yeah right I wish. I have only known him for well exactly a month yesterday. How do I feel about him? Well I have never been in love with someone before but the way I feel about him is like nothing I have ever felt before so I'm guessing that is what it is right? It is such a crazy feeling. You want to scream it from the rooftops but at the same time you are scared. I'm so scared about him moving. He keeps convincing me that it is going to be no big deal. I don't understand how he can think that. He is going to be gone for longer than we even known each other!

My biggest problem right now is trying not to freak out. I want answers you know. Answers that I myself don't even have. This whole situation stinks and I wish I didn't have to think about it. I'm just so scared that he leaves and never comes back and never looks back. He doesn't owe anything to me. Or the biggest fear is that I wait for him either 6 weeks or 6 months and he comes back and doesn't want me. What do I do then? Just forget about my life that I lost during that time?

I guess I had to get that all off my chest. I need to get it out in the open. I really need to tell him all of this. Well I have a couple of weeks left hopefully that will be enough time.

-J

think of me

There is a first time for everything [23 Dec 2006|05:32pm]
[ mood | good ]

Well for months now things have not been going so great between me and my first boyfriend. For years and years I was the professional single girl and then all of a sudden I was in a relationship. It was fun at first as all relationships are but then things started to go sour. I was so afraid of breaking it off because hey this was my first real boyfriend. I was convinced that all of the problems I had had in the past were because I didn't want to commit so I was definitely not going to be the person that fucked this up. Well who knows whos fault it really was but things have finally come to an end. I guess I just need to get that off my chest. That is what this thing really is for.

I hope I find someone that really fulfills me. I want a guy that I can share every aspect of my life with and him with me. I can't believe I'm back here again the girl with no boyfriend. I have a tough road ahead of me but deep down I know that I am strong.

So, man of my dreams if you are our there. My name is Jennie I have a good job, I'm cute, I like to party and call me at 555-LOVE.

Jennie

think of me

Long time no see LJ [09 Dec 2006|10:21pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Maria,

I think we are both so busy in our lives that we never take time to really chat and catch up. I think we should use this to keep up with each other when we get a chance and let each other know the fun, important, and just crazy things that are going on in our lives :) I just looked at a couple of old posts and this thing was a lot of fun for us to use. I know we have had our bad times but we have a lot more great times for a lot longer time. I think this could be a great way for us to get close to where we used to be as friends in our closeness.

Love,
J

1 thought| think of me

[09 Feb 2005|03:55pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Last night was fun, saw Elisa's boi dance at Pulse. He whacked Ashley's hand with his dick thong when she was shoving money down his pants. We got so wasted and have never been so crazed about naked boyz before.

juss had to bookmark this memory.

-j

1 thought| think of me

I finally found someone [29 Jan 2005|03:12pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Well I haven't posted in a while and I figured what better thing to talk about then my new boi. Yes everyone Jennie has met someone. He is a french guy that works at the restaurant right two doors down from the Melting Pot (my place of business) and he is the greatest. It is wierd how we met, a friend that actually has a crush on me brought me over there to smoke and stuff with his friends. Then me and Ben didn't stop talking the whole time I was there. Kinda like an instant connection. So we began hanging out and doing cute stuff together. Im not used to guys wanting to hang out with me for any other reason than some hidden agenda they have. I think it has actually been about 3 weeks and we are still going strong. He is teaching me french and I am perfecting his english. Can't wait for all my girls to meet him. That's all for now.

-j

3 thought| think of me

2 years [24 Nov 2004|03:51pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

We miss you Jason everyday. We will never forget the way you touched our lives.

Love,
J

1 thought| think of me

The Beginning of Senioritis [04 Nov 2004|07:48pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

So tomorrow I will officially be a Senior. I will be registering for my first Senior semester at UCF. (also known as u can't finish,but you know wut i'm well on my way) I guess I just want to remember this day, Im so excited to just register the semester won't even start for at least a month or two. YaY to perseverance.

-j

4 thought| think of me

[06 Aug 2004|01:31pm]
[ mood | amused ]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking a bit annoyed.

The egg mutters, to no one in particular, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question.

1 thought| think of me

about 20 minutes early but oh well... [09 Jul 2004|10:39pm]
[ mood | happy ]

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY KATI!!!

another 21st birthday of one of my girls that i miss...:( but try to fight back the tears of my absence and just remember that i'll be there in TWO WEEKS... YAY!!!
-M

think of me

[28 Jun 2004|08:36pm]
[ mood | loved ]

I am a very lucky girl

-M

3 thought| think of me

I NEED TO VENT!!! [18 Jun 2004|12:08am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

cause... FAMILY
effect... FRUSTRATION, PISSED OFF, and any other word related to that!

how i wish there was some way to pick who's your family. i can't describe on how embarrassing it is to be related to some of these people. you would think that something as small as money wouldn't be an issue between family, but that's where it changes with mine. having a little extra cash in there pockets is more important than helping my dad's health.

and for what-ever reason, nobody has balls in my family to speak up to mrs.greedy bitch a.k.a. my aunt, and that just frustrates me even more. what hold does she have on anybody? NOTHING! what does she have to offer anyone? NADA! so why is everybody so dam scared of her!?! I HAVE NO IDEA, but i'm done. first she screwed with my sister, and now with my dad, so to hell with them. if there not going to treat my family right, than i don't need them in my life. and when they ask what's wrong, you're dam sure that i'm going to say something. i'm not going to pretend everything is cool and be scared like the others to say something, forget that... even though it means me becoming ms.bitch for a couple of minutes, they'll hear what i have to say.

(sigh of relief)

even though you probably are lost with the whole situation, i needed to vent. i don't have really anyone to talk about this stuff with cause my dad is under stress(which is bad for his health) and this would put my sister under stress(which is bad for the baby), so yeah... all that's left is mother and we all know how much i can support that... naw meannnnn????

anywho, thanks for the venting relief.
-M

think of me

[13 Jun 2004|07:48pm]
[ mood | blah ]

"better to have loved and lost, then not to have loved at all"???

-j

2 thought| think of me

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!!! [09 Jun 2004|10:00am]
Feliz Cumpleaños Jennie!!!

This is the first time in eight years that i wont be there for your birthday:( And it being the big 21, it sucks even more(tear tear)! But we'll have our day to celebrate when i get back next month, so for now try to compose yourself and not be so sad that i'm not there and still have a great birthday! Love you girl and be safe!!!

-M
2 thought| think of me

NEW LAYOUT! [30 May 2004|11:50pm]
[ mood | okay ]

new layout, hope you like it jennie(::biting fingernails::). miss you! XOXO
-M

3 thought| think of me

it will shine again... [28 May 2004|02:02pm]
i know i've dedicated this poem before to one of my friends but again it seems to fit. i know it seems dark and alone at the moment, but it will shine again on you and what's to come in your future. Mara you are a beautiful person who deserves to be treated that way and don't forget that. i love you.
-M

If Only
by Munda

If only these few words I wrote for you,
Arrived through cyber space to change into,
A balsam for the agony you're in,
And ease a little of the fear within.
If smiles could find a way through time and space,
They'd hold you in a comforting embrace,
Until a smile appears upon your face,
And strength returns to face another day.
If thoughts could reach the universe afar,
I'd place a soothing cure on every star,
To heal the aching soul during a dream,
While angels chase away your silent scream.
If only these few words I wrote today,
Could do just that for you this cloudy day...
3 thought| think of me

This Past Weekend [19 May 2004|08:57pm]
[ mood | happy ]

so i just wanted to say how much fun this past weekend was in orlando. i celebrated my 21st birthday on friday in which i had dinner with family & friends, went to a club, drank a lot and went to bed around five in the morning(sorry about the t.v. thing jill,lol). saturday woke up with a hang over but still was able to enjoy mara's birthday bbq thrown by kati. saturday night was able to put aside my fight with my mom to celebrate her birthday in which she wanted to get me drunk, funny right? sunday my shawn came up to see me for my birthday and he gave me season 3 & 4 of saved by the bell(YAY!!!). after some unwrapping of gifts, we had some lunch and than went to my mom's to relax in where he played with my niece brianna which is so adorable to watch. afterwards got some dinner and saw the movie val helsing, alright movie but i've made the conclusion that i can never watch a movie past 8:30pm cause i will doze off from time to time. monday spent some more time with my sweetie and at night celebrated my bestfriend mara's 21st birthday(YAY!). hung out at friendly confines and than went to devany's where we danced and drank A LOT! very fun night. than it was back on a plane on tuesday, but this time it wasn't at all sad when i said good-bye to my sister and shawn at the airport, because i'm coming back to orlando without a roundtrip ticket(YAY!)!

-M

p.s. thank you to all my family & friends who made this birthday really memorable. and to you, i can't wait to be next to you again- te amo.

1 thought| think of me

OMG My lil girl is all grown up!! [17 May 2004|07:04pm]
[ mood | envious ]

Happy Birthday Myrna Moo!!
-j

3 thought| think of me

woo hoo 21 21 21 21 21 21 21 [14 May 2004|07:19pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

Happy Birthday Maria Conchita!!
so you came all the way over here to feel 21, im sure you did cuz they sure as hell weren't going to let you in without your ID...I hope you had a great time on your Birthday Maria Conchita...sorry the post is late

-j

think of me

[09 May 2004|10:46pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

you know this day wasn't suppose to be like this. a day of love and being grateful to that one person, was instead a day of saddness and not even wanting to talk to that person. i will never understand her and why is it so hard to just say that "i was wrong".

-M

think of me

EXCITING NEWS!!! [17 Apr 2004|09:44pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Just wanted to say that we got...
APPROVED FOR THE APARTMENT!!!YAY!!!

Coming back to live in Orlando in July!!!
-M

1 thought| think of me

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